Friendship Rules

Friendship is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. But sometimes a good friendship can go bad, and you have to know where to draw the line when it comes to being friends with someone. Recently this happened to me, and, although it was hard, I came out all right in the end.

First of all, it’s important to realize that friendship can have a big influencer on your behavior. Your friends, in other words, can affect the way you act. For example, if you are surrounded by people who are doing things like constantly using drugs or drinking alcohol, you are more likely to end up experimenting with these kinds of things. Likewise, if you are usually surrounded by people who are experimenting with things like reading different kinds of literature, going to art shows or museums or watching different types of films, you're more likely to pick up something of that from interacting with your friends and you might do a little experimenting in the arts, sports, volunteering, etc, yourself.

You are subconsciously drawn to different people who either have the same outlook on life as you, who find the same kinds of things funny as you do, and /or people you share interests with or have things in common with. These typically make good friends.

Sometimes you can have things in common with someone and become friends with that person. But, then, rather than finding yourself in a rewarding friendship, something doesn’t feel right and you find yourself asking yourself if maybe it’s time to move on.

Several things are reasons to end a friendship. If a friend is pressuring you all the time to do things you don't want to do and/or things that can be harmful to you and won't stop when you ask them to, that's one reason. Betrayal, constant back-stabbing and doing anything else that hurts the other friend, such as humiliting her, if you do it more than once, is another reason. Repairing a friendship is possible because a friend may not realize that what she is doing is hurting you, or she may be doing it because she is upset with you about something unrelated or related; but, if you discuss her behavior with her and the "friend" keeps displaying the same harmful behaviors, that's definitely reason for ending a friendship.

A good friend is someone who actually cares about you and your well being, who listens and who can (or at least: who tries to) understand -- someone you can count on who is trust-worthy and also someone who has integrity. Without these qualities, it’s hard to really be friends with someone, no mater what else you might have in common. Remember: friendship is great. It’s one of the greatest things there is. But treat it like you would anything else in your life: with care.